Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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