Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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