She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
