Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
