Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
