Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
