It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
