The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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