I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
