Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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