Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
