This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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