I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
