when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
