That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
