Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
