For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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