i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
