ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
