its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
