You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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