I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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