Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
NoShamevember. You game?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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