i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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