If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
