Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
