HIV tests are more positive than that guy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
