I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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