Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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