the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
