writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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