I faked an abortion last night.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
