is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
