fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
