Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Of course I have a pirate flag
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
