Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
