We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
