I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think your dad took our porno
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I did not marry a roomba.
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