Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
