somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
