you traded sex for a burrito?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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