okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
