my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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