Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
