the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
