i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
