He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
