Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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