i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's the barista slut.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
