I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
