i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
