The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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