I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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